Som pesten – Hanne-Vibeke Holst

Jeg fik givet Som pesten i julegave, og jeg var lidt skuffet, mistænksom, for hvordan kan en dansk forfatter skrive om pandemier, katastroferomaner? Jeg er ikke sikker på, hvor jeg har fået den idé at en dansk forfatter ikke skulle kunne skrive en roman om det emne? Hvorfor skal det være forbeholdt Hollywood manuskriptforfatterne? Hollywood, som i øvrigt låner med stor omhu fra resten af verdens litteratur. Er det den evindelig tro på at græsset altid er grønnere alle andre steder end lige her? I det mindste var jeg glad for det ikke var endnu en krimi om et mord og en falleret kriminalkommisær med ar på sjælen, der skulle optrævle udåden og redde verden. Beklager, men jeg er gået lidt død på den slags romaner lige pt.

En kæmpe tak til Hanne-Vibeke Holst for at bevise, at jeg tog fejl. Bogen er en god tyk bog på lige knap 700 sider, og inden jeg gik i gang, håbede jeg inderligt at det ville blive en god bog. Pretty please, for at jeg ikke skulle trække mig selv gennem 700 sider for at kunne fortælle min familie, at jeg selvfølgelig havde læst deres gave til mig.

Lad mig tage de kedelige ting først: Hovedpersonen Karoline er gift med et fjols, den del af historien er åbenlys og bliver bare irriterende. Det falder i den samme kategori, som at kriminalkommisæren i en krimi altid har ar på sjælen. Der anvendes nu og da forkortelser som f.eks. IRL (= in real life) og de virker på en eller anden måde malplacerede, både i historien og i forhold til karaktererne, plat i forhold til det høje niveau af kendskab til politiske intriger, de forskellige organisationer (WHO, CDC, ECDC, FN, UNOG osv.) og deres forhold til hinanden, og den kompleksitet der er i historien.

Farvel til de kedelige ting.

Jeg er dybt imponeret over, hvad det må krævet af en forfatter, at skulle sætte sig ind i en verden af medicinske udtryk, vira og deres struktur, hvad vira kan og ikke kan, et utal af organisationer. Selv med en forfatters ret til at tilpasse verdenen til skrift og historie, virker bogen nemlig ikke på noget tidspunkt utroværdig, lidt for kæk med tilpasninger eller så utopisk at man kun kan tro at der må være tale om et fremtidsscenario langt, langt ude i fremtiden. Du bliver som læser siddende klistret til side efter side. Det tog ikke lang tid at få læst de 700 sider. Bogen har puls og den fortsætter bogen igennem, synes ikke jeg på noget tidspunkt tænkte “nu må der altså gerne ske noget”, selv de stille tidspunkter i bogen indeholdt nok stof til at holde min opmærksomhed fanget.   Mine tanker var snarere “hvad sker der nu? hvad bliver det næste? er der et gennembrud? får hun endelig skovlen under ham? hvornår kysser giver hun sig endelig hen til ham?”. Tanker og spørgsmål der gør at jeg lige må læse næste side med inden jeg slukker lyset. Tanker og spørgsmål der gør at jeg selvfølgelig lige må læse kapitlet færdigt inden jeg slukker lyset.

Hanne-Vibeke Holst for smukt indvævet de personlige omkostninger der er hos mange af karaktererne ved deres job, den magtposition de har opnået, hvor de skal agere på de bedst vegne for verden og dens befolkning, samtidig med de skal kæmpe en til tider ulige kamp, med pengegriske industrier, som har overmagten, med mindre man er snedig og snu nok, og nogen gange må bøje sig, med de konsekvenser det måtte have.

Kære jantelov, nu må du gå til ro og sove i tusind år. Jeg må indrømme at jeg blev stolt (lidt fjollet, det er jo kun en bog) over at danske personer også når meget langt internationalt, stolt over at vi kan være med, stolt over at selv lille bitte Danmark (ihvertfald på antal kvadratmeter og antal indbyggere) kan til byde verden noget.

 

 

The year of magical thinking and Blue nights – both by Joan Didion

Years ago – for whatever reason – I bought The year of magical thinking by Joan Didion. I have never read any of her novels or essays before, maybe it was the picture on the cover, maybe it was the cover text on the book, maybe it was the fact that the cover text was so personal. Offering to show you the true feelings and thoughts of someone who has lost their lifelong partner, the one that understood them, the one that had integrated into their soul. How does one cope with the death of their husband for forty years at the same time their daughter is in a coma.

Joan Didion writes in a way I have never read before – at least in these two very personal and private books. Some times she is distant to the things that had happened like she had been on autopilot the moment they occurred and then the next moment her sentences can become short as if her thoughts are too fast to hold. A flashback to a distant memory that for some reason just comes back to her. Memories that seems important or unknowing why the memories show up at that time.

The year of magical thinking is primarily about the loss of her husband John Gregory Dunne, who dies of a heart attack. How she handles or tries to handle the fact the her lifelong partner is gone, how the days go by without he is there anymore. What do you do when when the person you have always been used to talk to and ask for advice is gone, the person you work with, the father of your child, the man you shared your bed with, the one you had breakfast with, dinner with, the one you traveled with is not here anymore.

Blue nights is about the loss of her only daughter Quintana Roo. Only a year and a half after the loss of her husband she looses her daughter. Two years of going to hospitals to visit her daughter, hopes that her daughter might make it, believing that she will, learning medical terms and researching what can be done, burying her husband, reading and remembering literature describing death, literature describing or trying to describe what it fells like for the ones who is left behind. Left behind for what? Left behind to do what? Memory loss, fear of what could happen, fear of what might happen, autopilot, other peoples reaction, your body’s reaction, self pity. Scientific articles, great writers, all trying to put words on what it is like to loose.

I am deeply impressed by both books, I can’t even imagine what those two years have been for her, and I will not try to. Those feelings are not imaginable, only people who have been there knows. Joan Didion tells us her story, how she felt. She never ones writes that writing is a help for her, a way to get a hold of her thoughts. Maybe it is a help for her, maybe she wants to help others who has nowhere to turn when they have lost, maybe she is writing the book that she could have used. Whatever the reason they are beautiful books about loss. Beautiful written about the tragic moments of life. Beautiful books about life.

I would in an instant read them both again, don’t get me wrong I don’t thrive on other people tragic moments in life, but Joan Didion’s writing in those books tell us how it is to be human.

I wish I could read them again for the first time…

 

Jeg slukker nu – Catherine Price

“Hej, jeg hedder Pernille og jeg er afhængig af min mobil”

“Hej Pernille” råber resten af kontoret, hvilket i dag består af …. mig selv.

En veninde fortæller mig at hun læser omtalte bog, altså “Jeg slukker nu” og af en eller anden bizar årsag tænker jeg at det kunne være en ide for mig at kaste et blik på den, altså bogen ikke mobilen. Jeg bestiller den online, selvfølgelig, og modtager den efter weekenden, så mandag, træt hjemme fra arbejde ligger jeg mig ud i solen og starter. Det er en lille bog, hvor de første 79 sider (ca.) omhandler folks forhold til deres mobil og hvad det gør ved os som mennekser. Den anden halvdel af bogen er et 30 dages program til at få et sundt forhold til sin telefon.

Inden du springer op og råber at du er i din gode ret til alle mulige ting, så siger bogen altså ikke du skal gå tilbage til stationære drejetelefoner uden nummerviser og telefonsvarer. Den fortæller mere om hvordan producenter designer bl.a. sociale medier til at holde vores opmærksomhed, så vi bliver ved med at bladre rundt på må og få, og inden vi har set os om, så har vi brugt en halv time, en hel time, 2 timer på absolut ingenting og samtidig er din hjerne ved at koge over af input, den ikke har nået at processere. Det gør os stressede, vores opmærksomhed skrumper ind, koncentrationsbesvær, forsæt selv rækken.

Jeg synes, det er fantastisk at bogen ikke siger, at jeg skal smide min smartphone ud, men bogen opfordrer til, at det er dig der bestemmer hvordan og til hvad du vil bruge mobilen til. Altså det er dig! der styrer forholdet til mobilen og ikke mobilen der styrer dig. Du vælger hvornår du vil bruge den, det er et aktivt valg at anvende mobilen og ikke en tvangstanke.

Den mandag læste jeg den første halvdel af bogen, og tog først fat i min mobil for at rydde op i den, tv’et forblev slukket også og jeg følte for første gang i lang tid at min mandag aften efter arbejde var længere end den plejede at være. Jeg havde fået tid tilbage! Tid til de ting som jeg synes er sjovt og dejligt. Sidde i solen og nyde fuglenes kvidren, læse, og jeg begyndte at tænke. Wauw! det er ellers noget jeg troede jeg gjorde før også, men nu synes jeg pludselig at jeg havde tid til at gøre tankerne færdige, fordi mine øjne ikke fangede en ny youtube video med søde katte eller Friends bloopers. Eller en Facebook opdatering der alligevel ikke giver mig noget, unyttig viden bliver lige pludselig sorteret fra.

Så hvis du synes at du mangler tid i dit liv og du er ustandselig travl og stresset, så prøv at kigge på dine mobil og tv vaner, det kunne være at der ligger potentiel dig-selv og familietid her.

God fornøjelse!

Koalaens Kærlighed – Mads Nygaard

Faldt over denne bog på min mors boghylde, hun bliver ved med at købe bøger selvom hun egentlig ikke læser meget mere, men det er jo bare til min fordel. Så det røg ned i min taske da jeg tog hjem – altså efter aftale med min mor.

Grunden til jeg tog den med var det sprog Mads Nygaard anvender. Allerede da jeg læste på bagsiden kunne jeg se at det er et helt andet sprog end hvad jeg normalt støder på i et bog. Det er meget mere ligetil, talesprog, humoristisk, ligefremt.

Sproget flyder så dejligt i den her bog, det er let, flydende, humoristisk, rent ud sagt tanker sat i ord på papir. Hovedperson Magnus er forelsket i Karen, meget forelsket, faktisk så forelsket at han ikke kan finde rundt i sit liv.

Jeg vil ikke fortælle mere om denne bog, den taler absolut for sig selv når du først har læst omslaget på bogen.

Gå ned og køb den nu!! Eller smut forbi biblioteket på vej hjem fra arbejde 🙂

Big little lies – Liane Moriarty

I’ve of course heard a lot about the HBO series based on this book, but I never got around to watching it and stumbled across the book one day while grocery shopping.

It’s great to read a book that gets under your skin and shows you that all kind of people have all kind of issues in their lives. Some worse than others though, but never the less, some can really tear a hole in your heart. It’s terrible to see that you hide yourself behind a beautiful facade in times where you should reach out to your friends. Your friends that are there for you, for better or for worse.

I read the book in a weekend and it’s really fantastic, normally I find some books are written in the same way and therefore not really surprising and the enthusiasm fades quickly. But for some reason this book kept me turning one page after the other, eager to get to know the characters and eager to find out who they are. Living in a perfect world or at least that’s what you see everyday on the social media it’s refreshing to see that even perfect people have issues. It sounds like I’m thrilled that the characters have problems and for some worse problems that no-one should ever live with. But the fact that they are portrayed as “real” people, everyone are sad every now and then, every one cries when something sad happens.

It’s wonderful to see that they come out on the other side, stronger relationships with each other and know themselves a little bit better.

After I read the book I watched the show on HBO. Eventhough they have altered the story a bit, it followed the book most of the way and it didn’t ruin the story.

So my words to you: enjoy both the book and the HBO version 🙂

Den, der lever stille – Leonora Christina Skov

Til at starte med må jeg indrømme at jeg før Den, derlever stille ikka havde læst nogen af Leonora Christina Skovs bøger. Jeg startede med at følge hende på Instagram sidste efterår og blev derfor introduceret til hendes sidste nervøse “udbrud” i forbindelse med den – på det tidspunkt – kommende lancering af bogen. Et selvbiografisk billede af Christinas opvækst før hun blev til Leonora, og på en måde et helt menneske.

Bogen er blevet en kæmpe succes! Og jeg forstår godt hvorfor den er blevet så vel modtaget. Der er ikke mange mennesker som ikke kan se en del af sig selv i bogen. Det er grusomt at læse at et voksent menneske, en mor kan finde på at give sit barn skylden for ens eget liv har udviklet sig. En – måske – psykisk syg mor, dog uden en diagnose, som konstant giver sin datter, sit eneste barn skylden for hvad der lige var at gribe efter, alt kunne gøre Christinas mor ked af det og dermed gøre hendes far vred. For hvordan kunne Christina finde på at opføre sig på den måde, når nu hun ved at det gør hendes mor ked af det. Jeg er meget imponeret over den viljestyrke Christina vidste og tog sit gode tøj og flyttede hjemmefra så snart hun havde muligheden for det, da hun startede på universitetet og fandt en lejlighed på Amager. Men forældres arme kan række langt og bebrejdelsen var stadig en følgesvend. Hvad værre var – ihvertfald i hendes forældres øjne – var at Christina sprang ud som lesbisk og blev kæreste med en præst.

Det ender med at Christina, som nu er Leonora Christina, mister meget af kontakten med sine forældre og hører gennem sin mormor og kusine hvad der sker i familien. Leonora bliver stadig holdt udenfor og inviteres kun sporadisk og altid alene, altså uden hendes kæreste. Da Leonoras mor dør efter et årelangt kræftforløb er hun klar til at fortælle sin historie, og måske derved lukke for det kapitel hvor en datter konstant kæmper for at blive elsket af sin mor.

Ved at have fulgt med på Leonoras Instagram så jeg at hendes far kom med til lanceringen af bogen. Nogle gange havde jeg lidt ondt af ham, hendes far, hans faderinstinkt virker til at være næsten ikke-eksisterende, han har danset efter sin hustrus fløjte i 40 år, uden mange selvstændige tanker. Det hele handlede om at ikke at gøre Christinas mor ked af det.

Jeg synes Leonora Christina Skov får skrevet en rigtig fin bog om sin svære opvækst uden at svine sin familie til, selvom når man læser bogen engang imellem tænker på hvordan i alverden hun er kommet helskindet ud på den anden side og hvordan hun kan skrive bogen uden at lyde bitter.

Et stort tillykke til Leonora for en flot og velskrevet bog!

 

 

 

 

 

The bridges of Madison County – 1995

Last night I watched The Bridges of Madison County for the first time. Absolutely beautiful movie! I’m sorry I haven’t seen it before. Meryl Streep is always a magnificent actress and somehow she always portraits her character so I get goose bumps. The film pictures the four days where Meryls character Francesca meets Clint Eastwood in the part of a photographer Robert who have come to Madison County to photograph the beautfull bridges.

The four days they spend together and they fall so deeply in love with each other, and they way that Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood gets those feelings out on the screen to the viewers is amazing. You feel the passion, you feel the deep love they have, you feel how comfortale they are with each other, you feel the real Francesca when she is with Robert, you can see the future they could have together, you feel her frustration of not wanting to abandone her family, you feel her pain when she sees him for the last time, you feel her desire to live life, you feel the heaviness of his steps when he has to walk away, you feel that he is not ready to see her for the last time.

And when he says “This kind of certainty comes but just once in a lifetime.” it’s just heartbreaking and you want her – with your entire heart and soul – to pick up her bags and go with him. You want her to live the life that she dreams of and always have dreamed of. You want her to be happy, you want her to laugh and smile and be in love.

At the same time it is not difficult to understand the love she has for her family, her children. She is at the most difficult crossroad of her life: stay with her family which she loves eventhough her dreams are suppressed or to go with the man that can give her her dreams.

I think I may have cried a little after the film. Their acting makes the film so believeable and I was left with a feeling of me wanting to meet a photographer named Robert Kincaid.

Thank you Meryl Strrep and Clint Eastwood for a beautiful film!

A Thousand Splendid Suns – Khaled Hosseini

I borrowed this book from a colleague of mine that for some reason had it on his desk. He has read it several times and told me that I was welcome to borrow it. Who can say no to that!

I didn’t have any expectations to the book, I didn’t really know what it was about, except from what I read on the back cover.

It’s about Mariam and Laila, the two main characters of the book, two women in the midst of Afganistan during war and taliban regime, religious and male dominans. Mariam – a harami –  born outside of marriage and Laila born into a family with brothers gone of to war, a mother with severe depressions and a educated father who is no longer allowed to teach.

Circumstances – the war comes to Kabul – will that they end being married to the same callous, violent, physical and mentally abusing man Rashid. Mariam is unable to give him children and therefore she – in Rashid eyes – is not worthy of love and kind words. Not that he was a kind person before her several miscarriages. She is reduced to something that is there to wait on him, clean his house, cook him dinner and be used as his personal punching bag. After Rashids marrige to Laila his focus is moved to her and the fact that she is able to give  him children she is a shinning star – until it turns out that the first child she gives birth to is a girl.

The two women finally finds common ground after the birth of the girl. Since Mariam for years has been abused and degraded as a woman and  as a person by Rashid, she had at the beginning refused to connect with Laila. Mayby refused is the wrong word, Mariam hasn’t had any love in her life for years and was unable to find that side of her again until this beautiful baby girl was born. The friendship and mutual understanding between these two women, caught in the middle of war, fight for power, women degrading politics disguised as religious facts. Every time people needs to justify something outrageous they look for a religious script they can twist and turn the wording to make it fit to their insane ideas. Mariam and Laila are just trying to survive and to make their everyday functional and they are looked down at just because of the fact that they are born women. They are disposable.

Thankfully this story has a happier ending, Tariq, the childhood turned into adult love survives and Laila can start her live with the two children and the love of her life Tariq.

The story is told in a very respectful way. It is devastating how the war ruins so many peoples lifes, they are just trying to work, have a family life, enjoy their children, educate themselves, see the beautiful sites of their country. How religion is used as justification for undermining a certain group of people, when religion actually – mostly – tries to teach you love. It is heartbreaking to see that there is no help to find because your husband is allowed to do whatever he wants, eventhough he breaks you into pieces. It is heartbreaking to see that hospitals can no longer be used by women. It is beautiful to see how strong women are, the strenght of these women and how they rise from the ashes and keeps going, stand up after each defeat, and the friendship and love that triumphs the oppresion.

Beautiful book about the strength of people under the most devastating cicumstances.

 

Shantaram – Gregory David Roberts

This is a book that I’ve been wanting to read for a long time. Finally I got my hands on the book and have so far read the first of five parts the book is divided into. The first part is about 150 pages and it kind of feels like the intro to the remaining story, but at no point is it boring. Eventhough you follow an everyday life of an exscaped prisoner in the midst of Bombay meeting what seems like people that you do not want to bring home to your parents, it sounds more like an adventure than a way down.

The following text will contain spoilers, so consider yourself warned.

Halfway through the book before he actually start his criminal path in life. I don’t condone his way of life as a criminal, but he puts so much emotion into his story. His feelings about what he do, how he feels about the people around him and how important they are to him. He loves to wonder about life, philosophize with equal minded, loves the diversity that India offers him.

Trough the book he gets more and more invovled in crimes and ends up in war, nearly dying of hunger and wounds, coming back to Bombay and continueing his path in a more hard core violent criminal environment.  In some way throughout the entire book he manages to write about his life in such a positive and loving way that I kinda forget how he gets through life. The love he has for the people he first met in Bombay – Prabaker – and the family he finds in the slum where he lived and worked as a doctor. The peace that he seeks when he sits by the seaside.

He seems a hard and distant man but at the same time he describes his feelings and emotions that he at the moment couldn’t find.

The book is some 850 pages but his writing is easy and at no point do you feel that it is too long. I especially enjoyed that he continued and respected his friendship with the Prabaker, Johnny cigar etc. in the slum. He takes in the Bombay life and feels it on his skin, in his head and in his heart. He feels he has found a family amongst these loving and embracing indian people.

So go find this book and read it, it’s a book about a mans journey to find himself again, finding his path in life, finding love again and allowing himself to feel.

 

Mrs. Doubtfire – 1993

Watching Mrs. Doubtfire for the first time in ages and it is still as beautiful as the very first time I saw it. For every age I have when I’ve seen the film I see it in different ways. That is why this film truly is a family film. Robin Williams – besides being extremely funny –  has an amazing ability to show his love for his children, the lenght that he will go through to be with his children, the love that he still have for his wife. He is showing the undying love that a parent feels for his/her children.

His look when he looses his children i court, he looks as if someone tears out his heart, the pain that shines in his eyes, his voice is a rainy day sometimes with the hope of a ray of light.

I see that I only speak of Robin Williams, but he really is the main character in this film, he carries the film all the way trough with his feelings on the outside. His feelings are hidden in plain sight for everybody to see. Robin Williams is the film, eventhough I’ve always liked Sally Field, in this one…. Robin Williams brings home the award.